I NEED TO FUCKING SHUT UP! How to even begin? I just spent 4 1/2 hours talking to her. There were low points... high ones where there were constant LOL's back and forth... and then........ i dont even know where to put it... but I said whats been in my mind... letting he rknow its still there. We are okay... she meant it... "I may be a bitch but I don't lie." I will fight this and fix myself somehow. I'm happy that I have some people by by side. To laugh with me, you maybe. I don't know. I feel like writing, but there are no words that can even come close to getting out what is flying around inside of me right now. I feel like throwing up. But I don't think it's bad. Oh well. I am hopeless... wow. In latin, mors voluntaria means suicide. I like the way it sounds. as well as cruentus cicatrix, which is bloody scars. this little dictionary is my friend now.