Tony Came over around 130 yesterday. We chilled fer a bit @ my house..n i was sick as fuck. then we went out around the creek area n saw a "car chase" or w.e you wanna call it. haha joe march was in it. Then we came back to my house around like 430 or so. i Love being with tony. i always do. He makes me so happy. I really really dont wanna lose him. Later in the day..like @ 715, Tony signed online n Imidiatly after his buddly list came up Candice I-Ms him.."heyy hunna" ughh!!! i hate that. She ALWAYS talks to him..like idk..she flirts with everyone n when you flirt with MY guy..it pisses me the fuck off. Shes always flirting with Tony n My eyes. idk..i get so jealous so easily n hate that too. Candice has a really nice body n a really pretty face n a flirty personality..n im scared that tony will want her n not me:(..Tony claims that he doesnt want anyone but me. n i have no one to be jealous of cuz im better. I just dont see that. I see candice as this perfect person with a prefect little body. n im just not that. I know Tony deserves better then me..but i just dont wanna give him up.:( I know that Tony loves me..i know he loves me for everything that i am n what im not. I also know that he doesnt think of even being with other girls. he just wants me. If i know this..why do i get so jealous? i dont get it. I hate the way i think about myself. I think about going anerexic n shit like that all the time but i dont have enough balls to just do it. i mean..everyone likes food..right when i wake up..i wont have breakfast. n then lunch will come by n ill have to fight myself not to eat any..then by late afternoon i give up. All i wish is to have a perfect little body..a pretty face..n confidence. i know that wont happen. idk..if i cant seem to stop eating maybe i dont want to be skinny bad enough. idk. i just know that when im holding tonys hand walking down the mall n see other prettier girls walk by..im always like..do you think she hot? n hes like who? where?..i wasnt even looking! Or on tv..ill be like do you think shes hot? n hes like yea shes alright. I get a knot in my stomach cuz i know shes prettier then me. why do i feel this way. i kinda want some advice on this. I dont wanna annoy Tony with it. Cuz i think i did last night when he was here witht he whole candice thing. hes like britt..you need to stop this gayness. i know this is dumb..i know i shouldnt even be bothered by it cuz i know tony loves me n only me but it just does. On the car ride home i felt alittle better. he was looking in my eyes n kissing me most of the time. n yesterday i even looked sick..my nose was all red..i didnt shower n i was wearing PJ's n hes like brittany ur so beautiful..even today n all this other stuff. i mean..he treats me like im the prettiest girl in the world. i guess i just dont know how to except it. Well this whole entry just got me in a shitty mood so im juss ganna go. Hopefully Tony n Dan ride there bikes to my house today. i really wanna see tony. I Love you so much. I have more love just going to you then i have ever felt in my entire life. You are everything to me n i dont know what i would do without you. i need you in my life more then anyone. I know i can be gay sometimes about stupid shit like last night..but its only because my biggest fear is losing you. I love you so much Tony..so much. I promise you this forever.