omg im having the worst day. i get all prettyed up to go to the mall with toyn and wait at the window for his car to pull uo for 2 1/2 hours n then to find out he couldnt come because his mom had to take eric to the docters. yeah it sucked so bad. i looked really good too. so i changed back into my pjs and figured i would wear those clothes tomarrow. talked to tony. then he had to leave and he said i would talk to him later. i layed around and talked to stephanie the whole day. then it happened.. My dad walked in and said we needed to "talk" and i said no i didnt want to. everytime he says we need to "talk" its something bad. but he made me get off the phone and "talk." They looked at my grades and made a little "contract" thing of all the rules. i cant have the phone or computer on weekdays and if i dont stay after 3 times a week then i cant have the phone or computer on weekends. i cant have my cell phone. and deffinetly no tony or friends. i got so mad and had a huge fit about how im ganna move out and i hate my parents. i have never said i hate you to my parents b4 and today i said it. i dont think i mean it but omg. i just got off grounding alittle over a week ago and now im grounded again..just worse. i hate this. i was balling on the phone with stephanie. i was calling EVEYWHERE to try to find tony but no luck. one of the calls i made to get him was dustins house. i talked to him for like 10 mins as i was balling. he was nice about it and tryed to help. but then i said i was ganna try to look for tony some more and plus..he had adrian over anyways. so now im sitting here..probly not supossed to be on the computer or phone but am anyways. im still crying. i hate being grounded. it makes me worse. i just cry all the time. i opened my phone and saw the pic of tony and i just started balling for no reason. im grounded till report cards and even on christmas break. i cant believe this shit. im not even going to be able to spend new years with the one i love. ugh. im starting to cry worse. ughh. i feel like just curling up in a ball and dying. i hate it here. i wanna live somewhere else. i would even live with stephanie with all the cats and dogs and john. i wouldnt care. i hate it here. ugh. i cant stop crying. i need tony.