i am irked because i have to go pee:( haha i just got up from the comp to go pee so im ok now. this is prolly ganna be a long entry cuz i have alot to talk about. Today was an ok day. @ school i was getting jealous of Tiffany Butler and her body. i think he has a way nicer body then me no matter what tony says. well i shouldnt have spoke my mind right away because what i said just started everything. I said, "i wish i could be like that for you" that made tony made becasue he HATES when i put myself down. i undertsand why though cuz i hate when he does the same. hes perfect. but then he started being an ass. he was all like ok w.e yup. just short shit like that. not really talking. on the way back to our locker he said he was sorry n bla bla bla. then when we got to hiw locker hes like why are you still sad? im like cuz i dont look like that. hes like omg i cant believe you are saying this stupid shit. whatever brittany. then the bell rang n i wasnt even near the class yet. i was like..i gotta go. hes like ok? bye. i hugged him n gae him a kiss on his cheek n whispered i love you. hes like love you to. then i left. i almost cryed. then when me n stephanie got to the library i did. i couldnt help it. i was trying to work on my english project that was due the next period when i couldnt even see because of all the tears. i wasnt crying because i thought we were ganna break up or anything cuz i know were not but i was crying because we both kinda left mad/sad. stephanie helped me alot. she always does. the rest of the day i wasnt perfect but better then 6th period. Tony came back from boces with a smile on his face. hes like hey baby like nothing even happened. He gave me a note n it said a bunch of stuff how i was perfect n he loved me more then anything. made me feel alittle better but i was still ehhh. We went to the library after school to just hang out. we sat in this comfy chair n we started talking about it agian. im like..you cant deny that you want me to look like that. hes like brittany no i dont. you are perfect. tiffanys pretty..her face. not her body. shes too skinny. I love you just the way you are and i want you to stay that way. why cant i just stop there n except that he thinks im perfect..but no, i keep going. i said..its easy for you to say that..look at you. theres nothing wrong with you. your perfect. hes like whats what i think of you..there is not one thing i would change about you. i love everything. i teared up a bit n he whiped them away. i told him i worte him an e-mail 9th peroid so we went to go look at it n then my mom called. i told her about my weekly report shit which was good. then my mom asked me what was wrong because of my voice n i said nothing im fine. so tony knew right away. Hes like even ur mom can tell on the phone. we had to leave to get on the bus n he started kicking n hitting the chairs. i was like umm? we got to the bus n we talked alittle more. he made me feel so much better. i have come to the conclusion that im not going to care about other girls around me. Tonys opinion is the one that matters. When i tell him hes perfect tony said he believes me because its me and what i say is the one thats true. hes right. n that makes me think different. Tony is in love with me. loves everthing about me. i know this because thats the way i think about him. well enough of that stuff. had a good bus ride home n got to shadowbrook laughing n bla bla bla. good time. Went to dans house n hung out there for a while. well yeah. this is another part that sucked for me n tony:) yeah. im just ganna say what BASICALLY happened. well..i cant remeber what started it because it was just so stupid. but i asked him why he was being an asshole. he started saying that stuff agian. "umm ok? yup. whatever" i hate it. i was like "umm ok? yup. whatever" just to mock him. he got made n turned over n wouldnt even look at me. i said fine, i guess this is the way were ganna be. he said yup. he gave me a little nudge to get off so im like fine bye! n hes like peace. so i walked out n started getting my shoes on. tony came after me into the road. he wanted to hug n make up but i wanted to "talk first." again..why couldnt i have just hugged him n just forgot about it?! well..there was alittle yelling involved which has never happened b4. me n tony have NEVER yelled. the result was both of us walking in seperate directions. i stopped n looked behind me n he walked past dans house n then stopped n looked behind him n then he turned back around n kept walking. i started crying n practically ran to stephanies house. n just invited myself in n cryed on her shoulder n tryed to spit out what had just happened. i havnt been this upset in so long. not to the point where i couldnt breath/talk. i knew tony wasnt at dans so i figured he was at joes. stephanie called joes for me n then it just hung up when they were trying to give the phone to tony. so i immideatly assumed that tony did it cuz he didnt wanna talk to me. i stayed at stephanies for like 10 mins then walked to joes house. The whole way there i cryed n couldnt breather. yeah..asthma sucks:) i kept thinking on what i was ganna say when i got to the door. i felt dumb. i was scared walking on rout 26 alone. when i got to joes n knocked on the door. someone asnwerd that i never saw b4..she said come in. she went into joes room n got tony. tony came out got his shoes on n took me outside. we just hugged eachother in the middle of joes street. i didnt care who was watching or laughing. i didnt give a shit. i was crying so hard on his shoulder n saying sorry so much. i couldnt stop. he was doing the same thing minus the crying. it was a big moment. i kept telling him that i would never do that again. if something goes wrong..no leaving eachother or yelling. we made a pormise that if something happens we will work it out. he hugged me and in my shoulder he was like omg brittany im sooo sorry. im sooo sorry. ill never yell at you again. (along time ago he told me he would never yell at me..he owuld be silent or walk away..i said i would want him to yell at me more then not say anything) wow..was i wrong. i was still crying at this point with tony telling me to calm down. i was like..i dont want you to yell at me. please just walk away next time. hes like i know i kwno. im so sorry. i didnt knwo what to do. i didnt wanna leave you. yeah. it sucked bad. i found out that tony didnt hang up the phonw when stephanie had called. it was joes brother cuz he didnt wanna deal with it or somthing. Tony said he tried called dans house n dans cell to find me but dan didnt know where i was. tony said he didnt know what sptehanies number was n he thought i went to the creek because that as the place where tony told me he loved me. tony wanted me to go get him at joes the whole time. i guess on his way there he kept looking back to see if i was coming behind him n he got sad when i wasnt but he just couldnt turn back. little did he know i was doing the same thing on the way to stephanies. anways..it was really cold outside to tony. i wasnt cold. i was hot. crying/sweatshirt vs. calmer kid/shortsleeves. yeah. doenst even out. so we walked back to dans house. we cuddled the whole time. we didnt leave eachother. i couldnt. i wouldnt let him go. same with him. we just kept telling eachother how much we loved eachother n how sorry we are. something like that..hasnt happened sence the first couple months or our realtionship which was dumb also. This whole thing started with somthing i cant even remeber. it was stupid and wasnt worth the peain we both went through. i know we can be over dramtic sometimes but were not thinking about it when its happeneing. if i had just accepted tonys hug when he came outside to get me it wouldnt have happened. its always my big mout that gets me into trouble. i hate it. I love tony more then anything in the world. tony said.."britt, its just a bump in the road. i will never leave you. never. idc how rough it gets..i will be here for as long as you want me. im so inlove with you. i couldnt leave you no matter what so dont be scared of us breaking up. its not happening" made me smile big right there. i love him so much. no one gets it but us. they all say we spend to much time together or its not realy love. they are all wrong. tony said today that he wants me to be his wife. his exact words. ugh. just talking about this makes me wish he was right here. the rest of the day was basically cuddling and i love yous. Toony brushed my hair for 20 mins. i love it. we had chips n chocolate chips too. stephanie came to dans. god i love that girl. im always here for her just like shes here for me. now i know why we are best friends..we are there for eachother no matter what. i love her. we left dans around 830 and went to joes house. watched some ed, ed and eddie. good show. first time i watched it:) played some good ninja turtles n watched "hook" (peter pan) i love that movie. i fell asleep. b4 i did..i asked tony if he would be mad if i fell asleep. he siad no..im glad you can fall asleep in my arms. then he held me tighter n played with my hair till i fell asleep. tony woke me up around 1030. it was a good nappy especialy in tonys arms. joe was playing some game on the computer the whole time. haha. we walked home in the freezing cold. i had a sweatshirt n tony had a jacket. i was wicked cold. tony gave me his jacket. i argued but i wasnt going to win so i just put it on. walked home n got my stuff to leave. got in the car n cuddled the whole way home. walked me up to my door n would let me go. hes the best. he told me to wear his jaket to bed and im still wearing it. haha. well..to you guys that might have looked like a really bad 8 month day but it really wasnt. i mean. there was stupid things that we might have faught about but over all it wasnt a wicked bad day. everything that happens, happens for a reason so im sure that it wasnt all that bad. im willing to take the bad with the good and the good with the bad. This turned out to be a longer entry then i planned but i cant just stop talking. tonys ganna come over tomarrow n we might go bowling or somthing with gary, g3, spencer, my mom and my brother. should be fun. well im out. The 8 Months of my life that i have spent in your arms, have been so amazing and the best times ive ever had in my life. You have no idea how much you mean to me. ur everyting. the only way i could ever really die is if i lost your love. ur the best tony james knopick. I Love You x3