im not sure why.. but i feel very alone right now.. i feel cold.. maybe because its a fucking ice box in my house.. but i duno.. its deeper than that.. im sitting here looking at peoples profiles and things like that and i just think to myself : dont i have anything better to do with my time? i guess not.. maybe if i did i wouldnt be so depressed all the time. its a funny thing depression.. you as a person create it, but you cant control it without medication. then you really feel like somethings wrong with you and then you go into a deeper depression and it just starts to rule your life.. its like theres no hope for te depressed.. my friends always tell me to be happy yatta yatta.. but what should i be happy about? my parents are divorsed, all my relationships turned out to be a bust, my favorite dog died a while ago, and my own cat doesnt like me. im starting to create a pitty party.. damn.. i dont want a pitty party.. i just want.. a party.. something happy, fun, friendly.. maybe for once ill be like i was before he died.. and to those who know me, you might know who im talking about.. if you dont then oh well... but its been so long since i was truely happy.. i guess that got burried too along with my hero..