dont you love how when you move you find out the true feelings about the ones you thought loved you? its the best past time dont you think? just the most LOVELY feeling in the world.. ok, so im looking at grants blog and shit like that. and i see "so rachels gone, its kinda nice." god fucking damn! you know.. i wish that if people didnt like me then they wouldnt pretend to be my fucking friend! is that too much to ask for? *sigh* this shit just makes me want to cry.. i moved away from brownsburg so that i could escape the near nervous breakdown. and yes, it did help, but im going back to that point. and it just hurts. my issues have become deeper than depression and i feel like im loosing my mind. its just.. hard... i dont feel like me anymore.. i dont know if i ever felt like me.. but i sure as hell dont want this feeling to be me. its scary.. and it scares other people. most people are afriad to meet me or talk to me or some shit like that becuase of the way that i think and the way that i do things. and it just really sucks. cause.. well.. im an ok person. my depression doesnt define me. and i dont know how to let that out to everyone. i duno.. im just feeling every emotion right now except happiness.. at least not much of it...