so.. i've decided that something further than depression is going on with me. and its really starting to scare the fuck out of me. all of this bad shit has been happening to me. and i am a strong person. it may not seem like i am, but god fucking damnit i am. but this is just too much for me to handle. i am continuing to loose friends, its harder to keep back from saying what i really feel, i keep falling asleep in class, i've developed this dislexic thing, im scared to commit to someone, my best friend has completely given up on me.. and.. i've made the two (yes now its two.. ) friends that i have left here really upset cause i might be leaving here, and going to a different school 4 hours away. and that is still yet to be desided... i wrote this paper in english today that was about gay people and the community and i just got so fucking angry.. and yes thats a big issue for me.. but i usualy dont get angry about it. i duno.. i just dont know anymore. im being harrassed at school, and being forgotten.. i just.. i cant take this anymore.. and i know i say that a lot, but i really cant. i dont know when im going to justhave a complete mental/nervous breakdown. i've already had 2 panic attacks this year.. god.. why am i going through all this? why is it so hard for me to be happy? i just dont understand this.. everyone around me is happy.. i just cant see what im doing wrong..