i still feel out of place.. and alone.. and forgotten.. but.. theres a star.. theres a little light. im so confused.. im having the hardest time right now with everything.. but i duno.. i just dont know much of anything anymore. and its hurting me. i hate not knowing the answers to questions that are important.. i feel like im letting that person down.. it makes me feel stupid that i cant answer their questions. *sigh* i still need a lot of help and time. and i hate that.. not so much the help part.. but the time part.. its going to take a lot of it to stabalize myself again. not just for the sake of other people.. but for myself.. and i cant help but feel like its going to be an ungodly about of time.. and that tears me apart.. ive never been this bad.. ive never been in such a deep hole.. and im not entirely sure i can make it all the way out of this one. and that sucks.. i used to be manic and fun at the same time.. now im just manic. i feel boring.. and i know that i am most of the time.. but its harder to get out of my boring days.. usually i can just think of something and then its all better.. now i cant. it sucks.. wow.. im kinda redundant.. hmm... but yeah.. im gonna go think i guess.. try to figure all my shit out..