is there no stop to the madness?! everything is going to badly! i hate this.. im so fucking confused about everything that is going on in my life. i dont know what to do or how to act around anyone anymore.. its so frustrating.. everyone seems to always be so repulsed by me.. its horrible.. im so sick of this.. i just dont want to be alive right now.. theres no fucking point.. this is all just complete bulshit.. everything is just messing up.. *sigh*.. what do i do now?