well i really fucked this one up.. i just want to die now. i just lost one of my best friends in the world. and there is no way to get her back into my life.. i guess its a good thing for her cause i wouldnt want to deal with me.. but i need her in my life. she was always there for me. she understood me when i talked to her.. well.. most of the time. i dont know what to do.. im just so sorry.. i wish i could take it back.. i didnt mean to hurt her.. i didnt mean to upset her and leave like i did.. im just sorry..