how can you watch someone just leave you behind? someone you love, someone you truely care about... someone who broke your heart, but you just loved them enough to forgive. i feel like im never going to see him again.. and i know i probably wont.. but there might be a chance in a few years when i get to college.. but.. its just.. he's like.. mr. perfect. i never thought i would like someone who was perfect. he has his imperfections, but they are minimal.. i know he's going to make some woman very happy one day.. and it kinda sucks that that woman cant be me.. but if its not to be, then its not to be. it just sucks.. he was my first, therefore i can never forget him, but theres so much more that i wont be able to forget. his way or explaining things, his kindness, his love... his touch.. he could make me do anything that was within reason, but he also was so delicate about it. he never really forsed me, but it was just.. so.. i duno.. im not sure how to explain it.. but its so far from bad.. i've never met anyone like him before.. he's so hard to read. and ususaly i can read people, but him.. its amazing.. you can tell when he means something, but other than that.. its just.. its like a maze.. and i love that about him.. the mystery, the intrigue.. i just wish he knew exactly how i feel about him. and i wish he would understand. and i wish he would make something out of his feelings for me. he cares a lot about me, but im not sure why he wont do anything about it.. this just hurts really bad cause we had something again.. something meaningful. we were going to go out again.. but he's going to college and got wraped up in his own life that "we" were pushed away.. i just wish that he would see past my age and look at who i am inside. he's never given me an actual chance.. its like hes scared of me or something.. i cant quite figure that out.. and i guess i never will.. but oddly enough.. im ok with that. i know in my heart that he cares for me, and always will. i guess theres not much to do now.. except wait for someone else to come along.. get through life, live life.. and im not saying that i dont wanna live it without him, im just saying that i would like him in my life. i know that ill be ok.. but theres still that flicker of wonder.. what would have happened if we did get together? would we have been together forever? what if..