im so exausted!! i have taken a hard beating.. everything is just catching up to me.. everything from my past.. and lets just say.. im not winning the battle. i dont know what to do... i dont know how more of myself i can take before i just.. end.. ive never wanted to be dead as much as i do now.. im not the type of person that takes change and pain very well.. especially when i cant do shit about it. but i guess thats me and half the world. im going the best i can to deal with everything.. its just really hard.. oh just kill me now..