I don't even know myself anymore. My mind is going at a million miles an hour with so many questions and no answers. I've been confused all day. I can't derive one real thought from the knotted mass of them in my head. I haven't done any substance abuse today or yesterday so I can't explain it that way. But I've just been pondering so many things today. My mind has been in the clouds. For instance, I just waited for the on-campus bus for like 5 minutes. When it arrived, I got on and just started thinking again about anything and everything all over again. Next thing I know, I stand up and walk out of the bus when its not my stop. Because of this very odd occurrance, I had to walk all the way across campus to my dorm. The drugs must be getting to me. Anyhow, as I was saying about all of the thinking I've been doing, I think I might be going crazy. When I got off the bus, all I could think about was why I would do such a thing. It was cold, windy, and an alltogether shitty walk back. I kept thinking about fate. I began to entertain the notion that I was supposed to get off of that bus for some reason. Either something good or something bad was going to happen to me if I stayed on that bus. Or something good or bad was going to happen to me because I got off of the bus. I don't believe in a god or any higher power, but I couldn't help wondering about the whole ordeal. Maybe I'm just an idiot, which seems to be the logical explaination. Of course, if I am an idiot, my logic would be a little off. Anyhow, I started looking for signs of something I was supposed to do on my walk home. I walked and I walked, but nothing signifigant caught my eye. I then started to think that something bad was going to happen to the bus, like an accident or something. Then I saw the bus pull up in front of the stop I should have been getting off of. Nothing signifigant there, either. Because I got off of the bus, I walked a little different route to my dorm. This brought me past the dining center where I ussually eat. It's on the second floor and there are seats next to windows that overlook the walkway outside. Just as I was going in the doors, I looked up at those windows and there was this girl that I know from around here just stairing down at me, smiling, and waving. I still don't understand why I looked up at the last second, but when I did, I saw her. Maybe this was the sign I was looking for? Maybe shes in my future somehow? Doubtful, but it was fun exploring the concept. But like I said, my mind has been so confused today. Nothing seems to be working right in my head. I probably got off of the bus because I was thinking too deeply and didn't realize what I was doing. A sort of intellectual delerium could be my culprit. I suppose it depends on your religious stance as to the explaination of my actions. I think I'm dumb. Maybe just happy.