I want to make my own television ad for Mentos. I think I could make a whole series of ads for them if I just had the time, money, and most importantly, the motivation. The whoe thing would be a monologue with that damn music on. You know the tune. "Fresh goes better, Mentos freshness. Fresh goes better with Mentos fresh and full of life!" Heres how one would go: It would start out with that fucking theme song of course. It would begin with a guy in his apartment walking up to get the door. There would be an angry man there holding a pink slip that would read "Eviction Notice." The landlord from Ace Ventura: Pet Detective would be perfect for this part. The man would take the notice, look down at it then look back up at the landlord. Then, he would suddenly smile, take out the package of Mentos from his pocket, pop one in, turn around, and walk to a desk in the background. He would open the drawer and take something out, but we wouldn't be able to see it. He would walk over again to the door briskly, pull out a magnum, and shoot the landlord in the face. BAM! Finally, the end would be there and that retarded shot they always have at the end of the commercial would be there. Again, you probably know what I'm talking about. The one where he smiles really big and does the thumbs up thing with the Mentos container in his hand. And that voice would say "Mentos. The Freshmaker." just as the text appeared in the shot. If Mentos is that damn empowering, why not use that power to do something you actually want to do? That would make things at least a little bit more understandable than some jackass painting stripes on his suit. I get tired of commercials with dumb litte phrases in them that are somehow supposed to make you want to buy their stupid shit. For instance, the dumbest one I've probably ever heard is the one currently being used by Road Runner. "Win at life." Seriously, now. If paying out the ass for high-speed internet is winning at life, I want to fucking die. That has to be the dumbest thing I've ever heard. I mean, millions and millions of years of searching for the meaning of life and all this time the answer was just to throw away all of our money on a way to download porn faster. What a fucking world? As dumb as it is, I think this does a pretty good job of summing up what our society has become. We are supposed to work our asses off to get money to buy shit we really don't need so we can solve problems we don't really have so we can appease our urge to own as much stuff as possible and live happily ever after in the fairytale land of capitalism. Indeed, we've actually convinced ourselves that our greed will lead to happiness. On that note, I think I'll end this entry on a quote. "The crippling of individuals I consider the worst evil of capitalism. Our whole educational system suffers from this evil. An exaggerated competitive attitude is inculcated into the student, who is trained to worship acquisitive success as a preparation for his future career." -- Albert Einstein