Apologies and A Little History

by xsilium
Feeling: old
Alright. So I think in my last entry I lost my usual objectivity. For this I apologize. I was feeling a bit self-righteous and energetic. This is never a good combination for me. I get caught up in what I am thinking right then and I turn a deaf ear to any argument or even logic. I let my emotions and new-found confidence get the best of me. Now, I feel I've returned to normal. I'm sorry if I've offended anyone or given anyone the wrong impression. I don't mean to convert anyone to my beliefs, nor do I mean to start an argument. I was caught in a feeling, tossed around by jumping conclusions, and I only landed in ignorance. Sometimes I think we all get caught up in things like that. We just start something and then we just let it carry us to whatever ends there are. However, it is important to remain objective and open-minded. I am remaining agnostic, as I do not have all of the answers. Perhaps I have none of them. I am unsure of any conclusion that I may reach as I will have no real proof of any existence or inexistence of God. However, I will not stop searching for answers. Nor will I stop the search for something better. For as Socrates says "...the unexamined life is not worth living." I am happy with what I write, though. I began writing this diary for only real reason--to look back on it later and see just how I felt when I wrote what I did. This way I can use what I have written to either reinforce or deny my feelings in the future. I will be able to have a more precise view on things because I am able to track my previous thoughts. I will be able to track the change in my life and I will be able to reflect on my previous thoughts and feelings. I have already discovered in retrospect that I have changed a great deal from when I was a freshman in high school to now when I am a freshman in college. I was once a devout Christian. I went to church every sunday. I was involved in 3 church youth groups. I did community service with the church. Hell, I even taught Sunday school a few times. I fought the school board at my school when they refused to acknowledge the FCA(Fellowship of Christian Atheletes) as an official school club because of its religious nature. Becuase of our actions the chapter back at my old high school is allowed to use all of the school resources such as buses and the gym for religious purposes(we threatened legal action). So for those of you out there who think I don't know where you are coming from, I certainly do. I've been in the trenches of the godless and I have become one of them. But I am not ashamed of this. I have just decided that that life(the life of the Christian) is not for me. Thats all. While I may from time to time lash out at others beliefs, I do not harbor angry thoughts for Christians and I still today keep many of my old Christian friends. I've just changed. And I'm not sorry for that. "In a gadda da vida, baby Don't you know that I'll always be true"
Read 9 comments
I see, and what made you change your mind? why can't you just be a believer, and not necessarily join a church, cuz for example I believe in God and love him and all that good stuff, but man can people be stupid. I seriously don't agree with a lot of the ways religions do things, I'm catholic and I definately don't agree with everything they do, therefore unknowingly I've made my own decision or way to believe i guess you could say, there are
...I do and don't agree with from every religion, but what i'm trying to say is don't follow the religion but still have God part of your life, somehow. You know what i mean? you know how you said how you've changed since freshmen in high school to now that you're a freshmen in college? well don't you think you're bound to change again? and your only 19 (no offense) there's so much of life that you haven't experienced and just so much you need to
...explore. You know what i mean? I'm not trying to lecture or tell you how to think or what to think or whatever, just sharing my opinion. Is all. And perhaps i think i already suggested this, but you should read The Purpose Driven Life, and just see how that makes you feel or think, i mean what have you got to loose? you know? i dunno, just a suggestion. i think it'll make you ponder more. And give you more things to say, cuz like i said before
...i like how you think, but that doesn't necessarily mean that i agree. However i'd like to know what you'd think of the book. Ah well...talk to you later.
wow ur diary is awsome like crazy... ya ur backround rocks... well ya and that picture is real cute.. hahaha well ya... great diary.. later krystyna
[Anonymous]
Goof, I'll read The Purpose Driven Life if you read Why I Am Not a Christian by Bertrand Russel. That seems fair to me. I don't even know where to begin to respond to all of the comments here. I think I might as well just write another entry explaining why I changed if I can even come up with sufficient explanation. Change is not something that can be described...it almost has to be experienced to be understood.
haha whats up with the little chubby kid..ahahaha.
i think i've heard that song before..
sounds like a deal, it is only fair. good stuff.
It is funny- I very seldome agree with your opinions but I like ya. wow that is all I have to say.