Listening to: "Kill The Rock" - Mindless Self Indulgence
Feeling: numb
Sometimes I think we spend too much time trying to understand everything. We are all searching for answers...searching for solutions. The problem is that there are a few problems that we percieve to be problems when they actually aren't at all. We start to think about things as though everything has meaning, everything has purpose. Sometimes things just happen. Not everything has an outside cause and not everything is meant to be understood. I think that humans in particular aren't meant to be understood. If we are completely understood, there is almost no point to living anymore. We can no longer surprise people and we can no longer achieve anything new because we are so easily predicted. We get stuck in our routines and life ceases to be alive anymore. So many people complain about being misunderstood but Its like Jimmy Urine of Mindless Self Indulgence, "If I'm so wonderful, then why am I so misunderstood. Everyone's got a reason except me." I think of it as a good thing to be misread. It isn't always good when you are trying to convince people of something or explain your motives, but sometimes it sort of makes you feel like you know something that others don't. It makes you feel unique in that you see things in a way that is your own. I know that if I ever become completely predictable, I don't want to go on living because I will no longer have that feeling of genuinity. That feeling that I'm me and no one else can be me as well as I can.
Though sometimes, I think we all think it would just be simpler if we were more like everyone else. Conformity has been pushed on us all of our lives and sometimes we forget what makes us different from everyone else. We are pack hunters by instinct so we tend to seek safety and comfort in goups. That is why cliques and other social groups are so easily formed. I've always been more of a loner, though. I never really fit myself into any group and I never really defined myself as being one type of person. I try to give everyone equal chance to be heard and equal chance to become my friend. Its hard because we as humans are stereotyping creatures. Its just part of all of our nature to some extent, whether we are conscious of them or not. It is unnavoidable. The true progress will come when we recognize our stereotypes and examine them. If we understand them, we can illiminate them from our lives or at least ignore them from time to time.
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