I wish I was a cat today

This is it. This is my last month in college. This is my first entry of the new decade. This is my probably my last entry ever on SitDiary.

I have had this journal since 2004 when I was a junior in high school in BCIS class. I never thought I could keep it going this long- almost six years. It's been a favorite pastime of mine to read over the material from the years and laugh at how ridiculous my life has been. '

From losing my virginity when I was 16 to being a half-lesbian when I was 17 to meeting the love of my life two months before graduating high school to cheating on him the next year to staying with him for five years now.

From working on the Pow Wow in high school to being a lonely staff writer my freshman year at the UP to being forced into "busy bee"ness my second year at the UP to being managing editor then to being editor for two years.

From evacuating for Hurricane Rita in 2005 for a month to evacuating for Gustav in 2008 and then Ike two weeks later.

From being best friends with Sara, Tyler, Lindsay to being best friends with Kelsie, Jessica, Sarah, Lindsay, Tyler to being best friends with Jack, Andrew, Jessica, Sarah.

From the University Press (2005-2010) to LUPT (2009-2010).

From feeling like I could never be anything in the world. Like I was never good enough. Like I couldn't make it even if I tried a million times. From being a fat girl, a cutter, depressed, unhappy, a slut, a whore. From doing anything to make people and guys like me.

To being successful in everything I do. To not taking shit from anyone. To people realizing that I'm awesome and they're lucky to be friends and/or acquantainces with me. To being skilled in everything because I try everything. To be confident. To being happy. To being content, but never bored. To being busy. To being fit. To being able to run a marathon (May 1st!). To being able to join a physical training program and surviving it (killing it) twice. To being a two-time APME award winning editor. To a 2 1/2 month internship in San Antonio. To being the absolute best.

That's what it comes down to, guys. I am the best. No one can take that away from. No one has that power. Because I am the absolute, hands-down best.

Things I will achieve after graduation:

Finding a job, moving into my own place, being a minimalist, improving my writing skills, reading more books, losing 30 more pounds, getting married, learning how to drive a stick shift, climb the fence at Ty Terrell Track, EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD. BECAUSE I CAN DO ANYTHING. I AM BETTER THAN YOU BECAUSE I KNOW I AM.

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I miss Matt a lot. Where have you gone? Te amo- Julie