What a fucking week, man. First off, it's been the most politically driven week of my life with two potential first ladies (michelle obama and bill clinton) coming to beaumont and then barack himself stopped by and visited and I got to see him and sit in the media section and be amazed. I have never appreciated being apart of the UP as I do now. It's great being able to skip the thousand people long line to sit in a good seat for obama. it was the shit, actually. which btw, everyone (that doesn't read my journal becuz it's private- ha) i am totally in support of BARACK OBAMA. betta believe it. Secondly, there's been a lot of drama between Austin and me... and Sara. not surprisingly since Chris dumped her psycho ass she's become rather attached to MY boyfriend and calling him, texting him and messaging him and I've fucking had enough. Besides the fact that I'm a jealous person anyway, I will not be able to stand for him being good friends with her. She's my best friend and he's my boyfriend. It just doesn't work like that- it's not right. I am right about this, right? Sara's been my friend for almost 16 years... she's been the only person that's ever made me feel that I'm not worth anything. Becuz I'm a failure at being her friend... no matter what I do she's always going to be depressed, insane and wanting to slice her body up. I blame myself for having what she wants and taking it for granted, but not anymore. I will take Austin and make him ALL mine again... she will not sink her fucking pathetic 'feel sorry for me cuz i'm poor, alone and have no one to fuck me right now' claws into him. And he's gullible too... he'd talk to her everytime she called or texted him becuz he's just a nice guy. But in no way, shape or form will I let that shit continue. I am his girlfriend and I haven't put three years into this relationship so I can feel second-rate to my psycho best friend.... NO FUCKING WAY. It's been a problem since like Thursday... he doesn't understand it or he's choosing to not understand. He said he wants us all to be friends again and watch crappy movies together. Yeah, no... we were never friends. He's always been my bf and she's my best friend and that's how it's going to stay, becuz I can't let this shit make me depressed and worthless when everything in my life is finally in fucking order (almost). When we move in together, sara's not invited to come over, ever. And if she shows up in one her psychotic 'i can't deal with my sucky life' fits, i'll tell her ass to leave and never come back. I just want to get away from her. She suffocates me. All i want is for her to find a guy that will love her despite everything... someone that will take care of her and make sure she's okay. Just someone that can "handle" her. I really hope he exists, becuz she's bleeding me dry. Please god just let everything be okay between Austin and me. He's my anchor, without him I don't think I can make it in the world.