I'm suffocating in my own memories. I really need to quit Facebook. It's making me physically ill. I need to take some ADD medicine so I can focus on what needs to be focused on. Like my work. That's due in an hour. That I haven't started yet. I hate this. I hate all of it.

I can't stand being at work and feeling like this. Friday was fine. I'm not sure why it was so fine. I found out the night before that my boyfriend is indeed talking to other girls via FB and text. And it's not entirely PG 13.

I'm probably going to pick up a drug habit soon. Seriously. This shit hurts. It hurts so bad. I just want to not feel anymore.

He makes me feel so good. And that gives him the power. I need the power back. I had the power with Austin.

I wonder if I'll go bat-shit crazy like the girl in High Tension. Where I have a complete psychological break from consciousness. I hope I don't kill anyone that doesn't deserve it. I really want to get over this. I really want to talk to Thomas about it again. I really want to talk to Austin about anything.

I really want my life back.