Wow. Hurricane Rita fucked my life up for an entire month. Made me realize how important some people are to me and how unimportant others are. I have like two handfuls of people in my life who I actually give a shit about. And who honestly give a shit about me. I fucked up a friend's tumultuous relationship with her bf this week. No even on purpose... it kinda just slipped out. They broke up... she's mad at me, he keeps calling me but I don't care. I don't fucking care. Ya know why? And I know this is a horrible reason... it's becuz they're in high school and it's just not my problem anymore. The people I do care about: Austin, Sara, Tyler, Maria, Maria's family, Mom, Dad, Matt, and other people who have in some way touched my life for the better instead of the worse. They know who they are. I am just so fucking sick of trying to keep people happy. I am tired of apologizing for the shit that I pull when no one else cares enough to do the same. If people are going to fuck around with me and my emotions... I have all the more right to do so. I am a vengeful person... not too proud of that but it's the truth. I should wear a cautionary label telling those that could possibly become my friends that I am not a good person... that if you fuck me over, you will eventually pay for it, that you don't really want to be friends with me. I don't really know where all of this is coming from. I think it built up in me and I can't really explain it to anyone but Austin but I hate talking his ear off about stupid fucking high school kids and their problems. That I would have made my problems like 8 months ago. But I don't need that anymore. I don't need them. I'm not cool... I know this and I don't need to be. I'm Julie and that's all I need to be. **I wonder if I should tell my parents about the door that Austin broke at my other house. I know they are going to be convinced that someone broke in... rawrg I hate decisions like these. well this was nice but i'm already tired of typing. good day.