i like the way you write and i am sure that everyone that reads you feels the same you have the ability to let your feelings come out in your words [anonymous (198.81.26.70)] Whoever left that comment, thank you. Makes me feel good about people actually reading something I write and actually like it. So thank you anonymous. Anyways, I'm fucking tired of all this rain! It's raining every single day and I'm getting a serious case of the winter blahs. I'm a person who thrives on summer and sunlight and being able to walk around nearly naked and not freeze my ass off. That's why I have the winter blahs... But on another note, I realized why I'm the massive funk I've been in. I'm going through extreme Tyler withdrawal. Tyler has been my best friend for 12 years and they just all of a sudden decided to separate us and now I'm going through an identity crisis. Who am I when I'm not with Tyler? I don't know who I am or who I want to be... I think that's why I've been trying to change myself so much. For the first time in like 4 years, I'm getting a new haircut, I'm wearing more makeup, I still don't care about clothes (but I'm poor so it's okay), and maybe I'm being more of a girl. But I'm very resistant to change. But everyone's telling me that nothing will ever be the same as it was. Friends are different, Love is different, Life is different. And I have to accept this and change with it. I need to start loving myself. And maybe it'll be true that if I love and respect myself, others will have no choice but to love and respect me. I saw that on MadTV yesterday and it cracked me up. Well I have notes to take and so I have to listen to Mrs. Amsden talk about stupid computer stuff. I hate computers. And I hate not knowing how to do things. And I hate being scared. I need to start driving. And I need to stop being scared of driving. I'm not going to die. No matter what Meagan says.