Oh man, this happiness thing. It just kicks ass. I love it and better yet I love him. I love him sooooooo much. We went to the mall with Jessica and Chad and they ate and we went to Gamestop which is becoming like my favorite store in the mall. And I hate games. Matt is converting me to the dark side....but oh well. I love that kid though, so I don't mind. He's having his confirmation on Wednesday and I have to go but I don't know what to wear or what to get him. It's been forever since I was in an actual Catholic setting. Well except for last year at Tyler and Jess' confirmation. I'm so sleepy today. After big, huge arguments with my mother I get really tired. My mom is such a racist and a freakin' homophobe!!! Ugh...I'm ashamed to call her my mother and that's pretty bad. My mom can be really damn cool sometimes but then you turn on the TV and some gay guy or worse some black gay guy comes on and she freaks out. I yelled at her so much and she got in my face and I was scared that she was gonna hit me but she knows better than to do that. Also, probably cuz Tyler was on the phone. So she like grabs the phone, hangs it up, and throws it...which probably fucked it up pretty bad but hey she paid for it. She said get the fuck out of my face and I was like whatever you want, mother and walked away. She's gonna really hit me one day and I'm just gonna sit there and take it and then probably slap her right back. Ah, man. I am so happy with Matt. More than happy. Fucking ecstatic and then I get home and my mom hates and I hate my mom and things are still weird with Lindsay. I really need to stay positive. I wanna see Matt tonight but I have to wash clothes. I really want a car...and a license. And gas money and somewhere along the lines, a career, a family, and some doggies. It's the weirdest thing that I actually want to get married and have kids and all that shit now. Just becuz I'm with Matt. Matt makes me think that marriage in all of it's horrendous, neverlasting glory can actually work. He makes me think of that song that Adam Sandler in the Wedding Singer "I wanna grow old with you". I freakin' love that song. Not as much as I love Matt, though. I must be getting really fucking annoying with all this. My dearest apologies and I'll try and talk about something less lovie-dovie next entry. Love you guys.