i had inspiration when i started this entry... and it faded away like it never existed. just flew out of my head like that green butterfly creature from the Lunesta commercials. restless sleep. maybe they need benadryl. x-tina volta is super duper hott but i feel like i made a complete ass out of myself (which isn't hard to do) and was like blahblah... i'm in "love" with you which in bisexual terms means you are the most beautiful chick i've ever seen and would like to stick my tongue down your throat. that was more graphic than i intended it to be. i wish chad wouldn't like me. sometimes. he's great to talk to and when i'm single, great to fuck but having him say stuff like "you are mine" and "i want to be the one you called boyfriend" is just odd. idk. i don't think it's cuz of jessica. they were only together for 8 months and that entire time i was in major like with him and then when i fall in love with nice, wonderful, 16 year old austin.... here's comes chad with his fistful of compliments and sweet things to say. also, he's fucking great in bed. what's a poor, defenseless, willpowerless girl to do???!!! austin makes me happy. his mom thinks we should "just be friends". which is bullshit cuz she's only doing that becuz she thinks i'm a hoe. whatever. he spent like 4 hours over here today becuz school's almost out and skipping it is no biggie. he makes me feel... good. good natured, good mood, good girl, good everything. he doesn't make me feel like a whore. even though i dry hump the fuck out of him everytime he's over and i don't know how he doesn't cum in his pants becuz i'm practically fucking him. haha. he's scared of my dad.... lol. i love him. but not enough to drop him on his head. i'm graduating in 2 days.... RawR. pray for me. <3 <3 <3