Today is Matt's birthday! He's 15 and I feel like I'm a child molester but hey I'm only 16! Anyway, I made him a card and it was so retarded. At the bottom I put, "What I feel for you is unexplainable". I'm gay. But yeah we went to the mall with Ian and Skylar and then ate at Wendy's. They got mad at me cuz I ran into about five million people I knew at the mall...which is understandable but hey I hadn't seen these people in about 5 years sooooooooo...yeah. *Note: I am an overexaggerater from Hell* I Love Matt. OMG. I can't even explain it. It's something about the way he looks at me. He looks at me like he can really see me. Which is scary but comforting at the same time. I really thought about it yesterday and I can see myself marrying Matt. And I'm not like that. I've never dreamt about marrying the perfect guy when I was a little girl mainly cuz I don't believe in the constitution of marriage. It's my parents' fault. But I could marry him...maybe. Idk....marriage is a scary thing. Promising yourself to one person for the rest of your life? Eternity, even? That's a long fucking time. But I can imagine it with Matt. OMG! I LOVE THIS FUCKING KID! I'm so scared he's gonna realize that I'm so wrong for him...I'm not good enough for him. I know it. But I love him. LOVE HIM. How did life go from getting ass from my fuckbuddie Marcus to falling in love and wanting to marry Matt? And I know it's love becuz I don't wanna fuck him yet! This is new! Me, not wanting to fuck my bf....whoa. I just wanna lie in his arms and look into his eyes and hear him tell me he loves me. Cuz I know it's true. I better come down from this happy high before I come crashing down...