I finally get it. I finally understand my relationship. The dreams I've been having this week have slowly been small epiphanies. I love Matt but I'm not in love with him. I don't think. See, he makes me so happy sometimes and others, he makes me feel like shit. A few nights ago, I had a dream about Josh W., the night before last I had a dream about Miley, and last night I had a dream about Justin. Of all fucking people, I had to have one about him. I still love him and that's not going to go away. There's nothing I can do about it. I haven't really talked to Matt about him except that he was the major reason I am the way I am. I need to talk to him. He would understand. Maybe, possibly. He told me I was the only person, he's every really loved. I believe him...fuck.... I have crushes and that's bad. Blah...Blah...Blah. I am never satisfied. I'm almost as bad as Lindsay. Just not as fickle. Maybe, I'm not as much of a romantic that I thought I was. And last night Stephy had a gay dream about her computer. i love you all. here is Julie again! That was my buddie Stephanie..she's lovely! Well, I have nothing else to really say and I have to do work...but I need some comments! I'm beginning to feel unloved! Muahahahahaha!