It's not like they did anything wrong. I just don't like them. I can't explain it. They've been getting on my nerves for no reason at all. I'm just getting over them. I mean, I'll still hang out with them if they want to, but I just don't care. This sucks so badly. I don't have anyone to hang out with now, except Kyra. But I don't like Kyra's friends either. I mean, I love her, I just can't stand her friends. I'm going through a really bad stage right now. When I'm around people, I wanna be alone. When I'm alone, I wanna be around people. Maybe I'm just not hanging out with the right people. Like today, I sat next to Rebecca during the All-School Meeting instead of the boys, and we had fun, and for the first time in a while, I just felt like I belonged. It feels good to belong. With all my "friends," I just feel awkward now. Maybe it's time for me to get a new group of friends. Or maybe I just need to stop caring about people. That would save me from a lot of unneeded drama. Anyway. Today in the All-School Meeting, we did something new. Instead of boring people talking about boring things for an hour, the ATY put on a play. It was cool, and it almost made me cry. Anthea was in it. She graduated from Steller last year. The play was about this average girl and her three best friends. In the play, the girl gets HIV's, which causes a lot of drama with her friends (and I mean a LOT of drama). But the coolest thing about the play is that it wasn't like those cheesy movies you watch in health. It was more realistic. It was more like it really happened to her. Ugh. I've been emotional lately. I blame it on hormones. I hate hormones. Hormones suck. My book is making me want to cry. The play is making me want to cry. My family is making me want to cry. My friends are making me want to scream. I wish I didn't feel any of this. I wish I couldn't feel anything. By the time I write in this book again, I hope to be as cold as the moon that lights this page. *** I weeded out my friends' list. Starting today, I'm not gonna put up with the boys' shit anymore. I'm so fucking tired of them. I can tell I'm becoming a completely different person. I don't want to, but I am. I haven't honestly wanted to write anything since the summer, even though I have had some good ideas. All I want to do is listen to music and read. (I don't even wanna play video games or computer anymore.) I don't like my friends. I haven't been craving sweets as much. And the strangest thing is, I don't feel like crying anymore. Now I just want to scream. I want to scream as loud as I can. I want to break things, throw things, hurt someone. Something's wrong with me. I shouldn't feel this way. But that's who I am now, and I have a feeling that this is how I'm gonna stay.