I'm fucking depressed. I don't want to be, but.... God. I'm a shitty person. I cannot get Kyle and Sandra off my mind. I know it was nearly a year ago, but I still hate myself for doing that. And I hate Sandra, because I told her how much I loved Kyle, and she still went after me. And I hate Kyle for turning me into such a fucking idiot. But I miss him. So much. And I want to make things right, even though he never knew they were wrong. And I can't decide what to do. I need help. What's worse: keeping a horrible secret that feels like a lie, or telling that secret at the risk of hurting someone, or many people? Sandra not being here doesn't help. At least when she's around I don't have as much time to think about things involving her.... I know that sounds incredibly stupid, but it's true. We've been able to hang out since all this happened, and I've been fine, but ever since she landed herself in rehab, I've been so fucked up. I fucking miss her, but I know she's bad for me, but I don't care. I know I shouldn't be around her anymore, but I need to, at the same time. I've known her for almost seven years. seven years! How am I supposed to just forget about that? I do want to.... I do, because I know she's just ruining me, but I can't. It's so fucking complicated. Anyway. I need to stop talking about this shit. It's depressing me. Jess took me out to dinner and to Best Buy on Sunday. I got the She Wants Revenge CD (love it :D), The Movies expansion pack, Sorority Boys, and Saved! I'm happy. Then we went to Denny's. We both got skillets, or "bowls," and they were fucking GOOD! I'm going to Denny's more often :P God. The biggest bitches on the face of the planet eat at Denny's, I guess. First, there was this group of 20-year-olds (or so) that were sitting about four tables away, and this one girl starts bitching out the waitress because their food took too long, and according to her there was no cheese on the chili cheese fries (even though her friends said otherwise...), and she got all pissed off and called the manager and started a huge scene in the middle of the restaurant. After they left, though, it got even worse. There was a family sitting across the room from us, with four or five kids, I think. The dad... God, he was the biggest jerk ever! The oldest girl didn't finish her meal, so the dad told her brother to hit her. And he kept yelling at them for stupid shit, and then he'd start yelling even more because they weren't paying attention. Jesus Christ. I wanted to shoot him! Both Jess and I were apalled. It was horrible! Anyway.... I'm gonna go, do something....