I discovered something about myself last night. I'm a cold person. I really am. I'm numb. I mean, I'm friendly, and I love, but I'm numb inside. I always have been, and I don't even know why. nothing really effects me that much. When my grandmother died, I had to force my tears. It sounds cruel, I know, but it's true. I had to force it because I didn't feel sad. When my aunt died, the tears came a little easier because I knew her better and I spent so much more time with her, but I still didn't feel much of anything inside. I figured it out. I have three layers. My outside, which is just... a hard shell, pretty much. The second layer is where things effect me. But I never feel anything but anger on the third layer. I've never loved anyone that deeply, never been that sad, never felt anything but rage that deep. And I don't understand it.