“I love him, Sie. I really love him.” She has no fucking idea how much that hurt. Why the fuck do I still feel this way? I thought I’d gotten over her a long time ago. After she turned me down. But… I still love her. I know I didn’t use that word before, I know I NEVER said that I love her before (in anything more than a friendly, sisterly way), but I’m saying it now. I FUCKING LOVE HER. And she’s in love with this jackass who totally used her and broke her heart. God…. The way she talks about him…. The way she talks about ME…. I don’t get it. She talks about him like he’s a fucking God. She’s always saying how he’s always making her feel like she’s beautiful, like she’s worth something, like she’s loved. And then she tells me that I make her feel the same way…. So why him? Why a guy that lives in Nevada, who BROKE UP WITH HER, instead of me, who’s RIGHT FUCKING HERE, who could never DREAM of hurting her, who she says makes her feel the exact same way? I don’t get it…. I didn’t even realize how much she still meant to me until she said that. “I love him, Sie. I really love him.” God, the tone of her voice…. It was like her heart was literally being ripped from her chest. Like those were her dying words. And I felt like I was getting the shit beaten out of me. It bad enough that she’s falling apart. Now I’m falling apart too, when I’m the only person she can turn to, and I can’t even tell her how I feel. Because she turned me down once. And even if she DOES reciprocate, I’d just be her fucking rebound. And she means too much to me. I wouldn’t be able to stand being with her if I didn’t mean just as much to her. I told her to call me anytime, whether I was sleeping or not. Now I wish I’d told her I couldn’t talk to her anymore. I think the next time I hear her voice, I’m gonna break down. And I CANNOT handle that right now. God. She keeps telling me she “loves me like a sister.” I fucking ahte when she says that. I give ANYTHING for her to think of me like she thinks of him.