well yesturday i didnt go to school...my dad was ok wiht it casue it was just a half day.i sat aroudn all day.i called my mom at liek 9 in the morning to see if she wanted to liek go somewher but she was at teh doctors...shes under alot of stress and i feel bad casue she thinks shes a faliure and a bad mom becasue i dont always have time to see her and she kinda blames it on me but i cant help it i have a socila life and i need to be wiht my frineds its what truly makes me happy she calls me selfish but if she was in my state of mind she woudl undeerstand.. so she called me back at leik 2 an di wa sliekw hat took you so long but i guess she had to take all these tests and shes she has never felt so alone..but now she nows how i felt without her half my life...i todl her i coudnt see her now casue i had to meet tammy then go get hillary and she just hung up on me ..oh well she needs to get over herself...right before i was baout to leave kim christine and lauren came and got me and they went dw to the pier and jumped in me and christine just watxhed it was really funny....so i met up wiht tammy and hillary and we ust chiled aroudn hillarys hosue and got itallians and drew we kinda just layed around for most of the part but it was halarious..we made plans for the weekend...friday were gunna get drunk..saturday we all have to paint hillarys fence casue last year we painted on it wiht liek the opposite color it is....and lsast night i got a call form kayle and she wants me to go to old orchard wiht her so i think i might go...so liek at 7 i went to mercis...i walked to the store casue i knew she woudnt be home for liek 15 min and i saw dan and doug skating but i didnt say anything...i think dan thinks i hates hi casue i have made no effort to hang out wiht him and i dont call him casue if he wanted to talk he woudl calll e but i also know hes not the type of person that calls ppl they have to call him soo its all screwed up...so merci came home and we cought up wiht eachothers lives..and she called nick and i was liek talking to her at teh same time so he got kinda mad and then me and merci wanted to walk down to the tire swing we made it half way and we got to cold..i think merci just wanted to call nick back casue you could tell he was pissed...so when we got home i talked online for liek a half hour and then i shut mercis lights in her room of and hsut the door so it was comlitly dark and put the HIM cd in and just curled up bu her clauset on her hardwood floor...i calmed my self becasue i really didnt want to reduce myself into tears. then merci came up stairs and turned all the lights on but then i conned her into shutting the lights off and turning the tv on then i passed out and i woke up at 6"45 and now im here sitting typing.....im wicked tired and i knwo i have to go to school i dont really have nay choose..if i lived wiht my mom i woudl probly drop out and it has been one of my thinsg i have gone over in mey head as a postive to moving to her hosue..i relaly dont know...well i guuta go get ready.. toriA