well i have calmed down since my last entry i talkt o tammy and told her why i was so mad and the only reason i yelled is thats the oly time she listens to me casue she finds everythign a joke or just funny if yoru not serious about it. i guess afte ri talked to teddy he stormed off casue he was mad she ditched me...latly he understnds me and when i get mad leikt hat he understands why and leik i todl him on the fone i knwo you hat eit when she ditches you i feel like that but 10 times more. I guess tomarrow tammsy comming to get me i woudnt be surpized if she didnt come but she says she is..i guess were gunna partie casue its her last day and she will be excited about that. Tomarrow me and her ocisly have to have a one on one talk Ive come to my senses That Ive become senseless I could give you lessons on how to ruin your friendships Every last conviction I smoked them all away I drank my frustrations down the drain out of the way Someone so tired of their routines and disappearing self esteems Ill sing along with every emergency Just sing along Im the king of catastrophies Im so fucked up That deep down inside its fine by me I could be an expert on codependency I could write the best book on underage tragedy Ive been spending my time at the local liquor store Ive been sleeping nightly on my best friends kitchen floor So I sit and wait and wonder Does anyone else feel like me Im so overdosed on apathy put down on sympathy Let the meaning slip away Lost my faith in another day Self deprication seems okay I never thought Id make it anyway