:( my computer is well and truly fucked. big chance i shal never go on msn again *cries* emilys baptism yesterday. *does happy dance*.....*does whale dance*.....*is embarrased* twas rly good. im so happy 4 her. but zoe was bein all 'emotional' acting as if she was rly left oyut, when we rnt exactly stopping her frm bein a xtian. gr she was annoying me. thru t'entire sermon she was just daydremin, not payin the slightest bitv attention 2 t speaker, even tho tis her hu needed 2. sumv the things he sed wer scarily tru. specially 4 me. now i wanna get baptised, but i no i'd feel so fake cos im still so unsure about it all. he was talking bout the pieces that when put together lead to faith, n i realised that i had quite a few of them al sorted in my hed. like the thought that everything we are, everything we see, all our feelings and emotions, the really deep feeloing that some people hav, morality n religion, the thought that alv this could be an astronomical accident. that rly dusnt fit in my head. the two just dont go together. n i dont c how it can 4 any1. n he was talkin bout if we r an accident then wots the point, we r all gonna die, y bother caring, y dus family matter n friends...y bother? n he sed that sum ppl tried rly hard 2 have faith, they c it in other ppl, rly strong belifs that they dont hav, n theyr jealous and they wonder how they can get it. thats so tru 4 me. and what rly struck me was that until about half way thru, i had bin taking alv this relevance as coincidence. wel i hav a maths test now so id best end this entry xHUGX