I hate fighting with my parents. not for any decent reason like i dont like making them angry or something. it just means that i'm always so tense. there is a physical tension in me, and i just get so fucking angry, and just thinking about how angry i am brings me close to tears. yesterday was going to be a pretty perfect day, then my parents decided to get stressed cos i changed plans which i never made. its a long story, which i cant be arsed to explain. then anytime i tried to avoid an argument, cos i was so bloody angry, i would have shouted at them, and probably ended up swearing at them, which would not go down well with my parents, i was yelled at even more. it completely fucking ruined my day with sam cos i got so pissed off then he got annoyed cos i was swearing too much. it also ruined my night, becuase clearly their mistake merited cancelling my sleepover with raz. i know its nothing compared to some of the shit my friends go through at home. but its still an argument, which i'm not used to, and i can't handle. and it's left me in a shitty mood. and people must think i'm over reacting so much, and trying to get sympathy for soemthing that doesnt even deserve it. but i dont give a fuck, this is my fucking diary, and if i'm this pissed off then this is the place that i'm gonna write it. its all kinda blowing over now. but mother and i still arent talking, and i'd like too keep it that way. i got too close to doing something very stupid today. i hate it.