Well, i shal explain my lack of entries. Holiday. firstly i was in another coutry, frace to be precise, and the times when i wasnt i was too lazy to get off my arse an out of bed. besides it would have been an incredibly boring read. frace was good. gd ol camping, cept weve grown out of tents, now were in mobile homes, oh yes the optimum of class and spohistication. then again i still cant c linda tavener in one. gemma u mite know what i mean. if not, meh who cares. muchos swimming and sleeping and reading and moules-frites. makes a happy susie. also what makes a happy susie is the thought of a computer in my room, with real msn. ahh. hopefuly msn runs on Windows 98, cos tis an old recycles comp, not a new one, if not, i will not be a happy susie. also also what makes a happy susie is her new ring. *is proud* *strokes ring* *gets spiked* ow. what makes an unhappy susie is lack of boyfriend. here is where the entry gets all serious...in a roundabout kindv way, cos i do realise the lack of real importance of a bf, but ther we go. i just want to be liked. fancied. maybe even loved. for once. all my life ive bin surrounded by beautiful people, primarily my sister. but my friends aswell. they get the attention, n the boyfriends, thats the way it works. either that or the beautiful person has been too damn beautiful n i just cant have them. but i dont want it to be like that anymore. for once i just want a guy to lie through his teeth and tell me i'm pretty, or perhaps be stupid and blind enough to mean it. i know its selfish but i dont give one. i want what so many people have. i want someone new to talk to, someone new to see how much i tell them n how quickly. i want someone to go to parties with, someone to talk about. but most of all i just wanna be liked in a way i havent for a long time, if i ever have at all. i love my friends to bits, dont know wha id do with out them. but i want summat more. n thats bitchy n unfair but heck, thats what diaries r about. yeah, this has truned out to be a really long entry, for me anyway. ciao. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ brief explanation here. something very imprtant to me was meant to be happening in a few weeks. but it isnt happening anymore. before i thought we could be looking at that important thing happening in about four years. after conversations i have now found a better estimate is about a year. but the countdown is being abandoned until things are certain. gutted as i am about this, cos it was summat preety important, im gonna hav 2 live with it, like i have for the last 3 years...