Fuck him

by stereotyped
Feeling: frustrated
Y cant i get him out of my head? why does my brain constantly remind me of him? why cant i just hate him for what he did to me, how he fucked me up so much. i hardly even know him, and yet i think about him every fucking day. and i know he hates me and he wants nothing to do with me and part of me wants the same of him. every day i find myself on his website, looking at pictures, reading what he writes in forums, wondering how he is, if he ever thinks about me. but i know he doesnt. fucking bastard. and now i find myself turning into him. why? he seemed so nice, so normal, confident. 1 of those ppl hu keeps u up @ nite thinkin bout them, wiv butterflys in ur stomach, not bein able 2 w8 till the next time u c them. but i never got 2 say gdby. i shudv just 4gotten about him ther n then, then none of this shit would hav happened. grrr how did i manage 2 let him get inside my head like this, to affect wot i say and do, to make me phsically shake at the thought of all the crap he suggested. and i know that he will never get out of my head, i will never forget him for the rest of my life..... please leave coments.
Read 22 comments
hi! :p
which guy are we talking about here? i am thinking of the right one arent i?
dont let him get to you. he's a bastard.
aww.. boys are definetly fuckheads. I think I know how you feel.. reading everything he's typed, over and over, never stopping for a minute to think about anything else other than him.

You're not alone.
*hugs*
[Anonymous]
omg is my diary ugly lookin since i added a pic?
[Anonymous]
SCORE!!! haha wow, ur dad is awesome
I'm sitting here, playing on the sims and going on the Internet and thinking about the mistakes I've made. It's quite depressing really. But you know, we get over it. Eventually. Time, inevitably, is the only healer. And sometimes time doesn't even work.

Rachel
yea it was really hard. harder then i thought it would be cuz i thought i had no feelings for him. but yea it always seems like when ppl tell u not to do somethin and u do it anyway it juss seems to hurt u in the end anyway...
[Anonymous]
...for a little bit i did stop talking to him juss cuz my cuzin didnt want me to but that juss made me realize how much i really liked him...and so i kept talkin to him and that juss screwed me over in the end cuz well now we dont talk anymore and thas HIS choice even tho i wanna talk to him so badly now.
[Anonymous]
yea sometimes i dunno what i want either. life can be so dayum confusing. thas juss horrible that he ended up making things worse in ur life but then again MOsT guys do , do that to people. ehh i hate it so much.

when i met my guy things were going juss perfect in my life but then my cuzin found out me and this guy were talkin and they arent exactly best friends and this whole fight started and i was "forbidded" to ever talk to that guy again
[Anonymous]
...we keep going in circles and we prolly will never stop.
[Anonymous]
yea forgetting about him would be much easier. i wish it was that easy. but like i dunno. i dont ever really wanna forget him i juss wanna get past the fact the he will proly never change. and i gotta except. i just always want him to be a lil part of my life and always talk to me whenever he can. cuz i kno eventually we're gonna talk again cuz that always happens and then ima get all attached again like i always do but oh well...
[Anonymous]
yea i kno. u have no clue how hard it is for me either. thas true the wanting him part does always seem to win. but like i dunno its not really like that with me as much cuz after a year and a half of knowing him i dunno i dont "want" him as much i just want him to be the person he was when i first met him. cuz i really hate what hes doing to himself. and what hes become.
yup-they never ever change
[Anonymous]
uhm...good luck!
Don't worry, pissed off is my default emotion. Yeah, forgetting guys is one hard load of shit. Grrr.... why is it always the guys that are the bastards?

Rachel
hmm yea. i say dont even waste ur time with it if he ever does unblock you. guys never seem to change even when they say they do. like maybe for a lil bit it seems like they really have changed but they eventually always get lead back to their old ways. juss dont set urself back up to get hurt again
[Anonymous]
hah. yea it is kinda scary. yup all guys r the same. god that was kinda rude of him to juss block you. wat an asshole. my guy hasnt blocked me...and he's still on my buddylist so whenever see that hes online im juss like aHhh. we juss both dont communicate anymore. im happy and sad about it at the same time. cuz well i dunno i do always wonder if he ever thinks about me. but i highly doubt it. ugh i wish he wasnt sucha typical guy.
[Anonymous]
Yeah. I really like your diary btw. It's hard to just forget about someone. In fact, it's fucking impossible but we all try.

Rachel
omg lmao. i swear it seems like we're talkin bout the same person too lol
cuz like yea my guy too all he eVer wanted to do was talk about FuCking like no joke most of our conversations that we had were about some kinda fuckin like wehn and where and how thas all he ever thought about and im like AHhh i dont wanna fuck u!

haha yea...no problem for the comments yea its always nice to find some1 who is going thru the same thing that u r
[Anonymous]
They really are :) that's why I've been here so long. Hope you can begin to sort out stuff with that guy...

Rachel
omg how funny i met my guy easter of 2003. yea when i fist met him he was the most awesome person ever, he was so funny, so nice, so amazing. but we like always had our differences we would go months at a time w/o talkin to eachother but then 1 of us would start the conversation over again...but like now i dont even wanna talk to him cuz he juss keeps gettin into things i dont like. i really dont like wat hes become :-/
[Anonymous]
Ah all is clear for my little brain now :)
We is all having fun on la sitDiary.

Rachel
lol ur welcome.

godd i hate that. when u liked somebody for a lil bit and no matter how much they hurt u or done u wrong u cant find it inside of u to hate them.
no matter how hard u try. im slowly gettin over this one guy and its been months now. but everytime some1 mentions his name i get so angry..
but like happy at the same time cuz i think back to those "good" days we used to have....
[Anonymous]
lol Ok so which diary am I meant to leave comments on? Have fun at the w/e. Don't worry about ranting... that's what everyone does.

Rachel