Everyone is ill at the moment, it makes me quite sad. Grandad is pretty much the same, he's paralysed on his left side, but the stroke hasnt affected his brain, so he's talky and stuff, well, that was yesterday morning, aparently last night he got a bit worse, but i havent heard much about that. Steve, my youth worker, is also in hospital. Its scary how worried i am n how sorry i feel for him. I went in to see him today along with some of the guys from yp, i swear i could have cried. Bless him. Even though he was talking n jokin, i hate seeing someone i lvoe like that. He had a drip in each arm, and it hurt whenever he moved them. His entire ward is full of smelly yucky old men who cough and die at all hours of the night and projectile vomit their breakfast across the room when he is trying to eat his. He has no tv, and his arms arent even strong enough to hold a book. So he's in there bored shyteless, staring at a blank wall and no-one can to anything to help except pump drugs and hormones in to his blood. And it was laurens birthday today, he hardly even saw her. Even though i know nothing is significantly wrong with him, i'm still so worried. That guy is so important to me, i don't know what i'd do if something heppened to him. And the saddest thing? He doesnt even know how important he is to me. Don't get the wrong idea y'all, i dont fancy him or anything, but i still love him, in that friend sort of way. I wish i was in there instead of him. Thats it, i'm crying, i care more about my youth worker spending a couple of nights in hospital to sort out his blood sugar than my own grandad who may never be able to walk again. How fucked up am i. I just hope one day Steve Tinning, you'll understand how much you mean to me. On a lighter note, happy birthday razzy.