I've just got back from skating with YP. It wasnt as bad as i thought it would be, people were pretty intent on skating off faster than i wanted to, adn i was perfectly happy to skate slower, just thinking to myself. It's strange how what goes around comes around in this world. I dont know if thats the phrase i want, but i dont really care. Just an hour ago i was skating round riverside rink, with Sam holding my hand. And I realised that this time last year, i would have klled for a chance to do that. On October 18th 2005 (a year ago tomorrow) i wrote an entry, i was absolutely tearing myself up over sam. And looking back at it jsut feels so weird and stupid. He meant so damn much to me, and all i wanted to do was skate holding his hand, and all this time i've just been missing out on the chance to do it as friends. This time last year, i never would have thought that we would have gone through so much by now. Especially the whole him and Raz thing. Only the paranoid side of me would have predicted that, and i would have said to myself 'dont be stupid, that wouldnt happen'. I'm not all that clever. Things are great between the two of us now. We're really good friends, jsut like i wanted. He asked to sit next to me on the minibus, and we talked and laughed as if nothing had ever happened. And it just made me smile. And all this thinking about how stuff with me and sam has changed in such a short time; it made me think about how fragile and changeable life is. I could never see myself getting over sam, and i could never see myself meeting or liking someone new. So now, I'm not going to let myself get so involved in crap which will pass any time soon. I dont want to be looking back in a year's time at how fergy fucked me up cos i coudlnt get over him, and how we went through months of not being able to be around each other cos of some worthless drama which should never have got in the way of our friendship. There is nothing on this earth which should get in the way of a friendship the way things did with me and sam. And i wanna stick to that as much as i can. Things which seem so important to us now, could just be part of the scenery in a years time. Anything can happen, releationships change all over the place. But no matter how bad it may seem, it'l sort itself out in the end. And one day we'll all look back and regret not sorting it out sooner...