waa! I sorta got asked to junior prom today I'm still quite confused about it but after complaning all night with sara. and Sara getting asked hours later...It was prone to happen to me too. The kid was always hanging around me. my friend's brother. wah! weird I always figured he had a crush on me. He's always hanging around when I go to Kace's house...mmm well... I don't know what to do! He just came up to me, put his arm around my shoulder and said "hey do you want to go to junior prom with me?!" I'm shocked the first thing out of my mouth "hey don't you have a date already?" "that's what I thought!" then he ran away... I was very confused. But he ran away! am I just supposed to go find him and say "oh sure! Imean I don't have a date! and you clearly don't either!" uhh!! well... Kace is going to the doctor tomorrow I told her I was going to make friendship braclets! yay! to make her feel better! I wuvy my kacean. Today sara came home with me. we took a walk to derek's house to answer him "I want you! I need you! O bebe O bebe!" rah! I saw my adorable (haha! I like her! we get along!) little sister walking home so I grabbed her and made her follow this stranger near the cemetary roads. she looked really cute with her hair in braids today. ahh! I love my lil sis haha! I'm so glad I pulled her name (not intentionly choosing her before hand...or anything...) out of the hat. I'm guessing stan-the-dad-man got me because when me and sara went down to my 'temple' (bedroom) I found this honkin' huge candy bar on my desk! me and sara got all excited because I though maybe someone was asking me to the dance (again) hahaha! but there was no note... so I shoved it in my mouth, and threw some at sara and crawled in the bed. we took a nap together. which is a normal thing for me and sara loo. we nap together. rah!!bahhah! I didnt really sleep I was wide awake looking up at my ceiling and worrying about the normal stuff I worry about. not liking myself not being pretty enough acting weird being dumb always smelling like my smelly house. I'm a 40 year old parent with OCD in a teenager body. wah. I was worry ing about landen (again) like I'm always. whats going to happen to us. I like a lot of guys. and not just one and I don't want to just like one because it causes problems for me anyways well anyways and I was thinking why this other boy probably never knows I'm there... except the thing is...he does. and I was worrying because he has this girly always by him then the thought ... oh wait! I have a boyfriend! gah! so then I worry about breaking landen's heart because I'm such a spastic flirt. or wannabe flirt. or something! so I start worrying about landen never talking to me agian because I left him for a guy who...has a girlfriend... and then It goes back to I'm not pretty enough and I want to be like holly!! or whoever! then I thought how I wanted to cut my hair so It would be pretty but mom would be crushed if I cut all my pretty hair off. so I'll keep it long then I worried about ...who knows what else ! I'm a spaz!! wah~ rah! and I typed that way too fast for my own good. mmm, grahm cracker. So I said a quick prayer, knowing God helps in all cases. Even when he hears a lot of me complaining. yay for love and patience! mmm! I bolted up out of bed and got this idea to call Matt Cook (who I don't say more then 3 words to each day) I went running upstairs grabbed the phone and actually started dialing until I actually realized what I was doing! I threw the phone down and screamed! gah! don't call the peacock! bad! woo, I don't know what came over me right then. what would I of said anyways. "oh hey...um...you kinda remind me of a peacock...and oh yeah! I noticed that you...erm, do sign language when you walk... yeah! well! have a nice day! I hope I didnt interupt anything! ta!" haha! then I just laughed! laughed how stupid I am for worrying so much! I'm exactly where I belong. and I do need to make some changes with myself. I quickly called Andy Murri but he wasnt home. I called Kacean to tell her that I love her and we ended up talking for 10 minutes about random crap. I love her! I talked to my parents a bit and that's when stan told me he bought me the candy bar. yay for daddies! I went back to my room and wrote in my journal feel much more happier and knowing what I want/need to do. yay yay I blabbed my head off when sara woke up and bounced a bouncy ball I found on my bed posts then we talked about weird ways to answer derek again. haahhaa I'm so freaking happy for the brain. muhahahhaa. yes... I made some bacon and she made ravioli I went to YW smelling of meat which made megan gag./ she wrote me a nice note. made me realize I was already the person I wanted to become. Or...well, getting there at least. I was flipping out about a boy...or a lot of boys...and megan's over there dying. she's the only one I let read my journal. my real one. She always comments "you're so cute!" whenever she reads parts of it. then she always writes a note in the back. once I had a happy bunny journal I got from landen last christmas she morphed the happy bunny picture into a physco evil bunny! muhaha. I love her so much she's one of the reasons I go to church too. she's just...wow. I love megan Woodward. Now here I sit listening to Jon schmidt oh...babyoh baby. mm! young womens was great. combined with the fabby young men in my ward. SCOTTTTTTTT!!!! ahem... I love that kid. this seminary chick lady teacher came and taught us about making choices doing and knowing. it was neat she was upbeat and spazzy. a peice of chalk fell in her eye right when she was going to teach us some sign language. she said "don't think this is the word!" as she poked at her eyeball. hahaa. I learned how to say opposite in sign language. muhahah. sing language. Today landen came over I was...I'm always snuggly when he comes over. I hope he doesnt mind. when I'm a brat to him then-"oh! hold me ! you hot HOT boy." he did look very fine today he wore his flares with his brown shirt. brown is hot. it reminds me of the summer time when our love was alive!! ah, good times hard times come again no more. dooo doo do dooodoo!! thats two years ago's ballad. rah! oh! and this years ballads is pit! i am so staying in the pit!! yes! plus all the cute freshman coming in. I think micah's lil brother will be in. plus dorothy's lil brother. I hope I can be section leader again. yay because its so much fun. but the sophmores will be fighting for my spot. but I'm still one of the head players. besides Matt Clyde who's freaking amazing! yay for him and being in pit! oh... I'm so excited we're going to have such a huge drumline next year! yayayyayayay!!!! maybe there will be more romance in the pit. woo. me and landen met in the pit. we're still going to tell our kids we met in hawaii. while he was surfing...or however the story goes. rah! REsa, I'm thinking of you! sara...you're crazy! oh I didnt write about monday night!! oh...but I've written so much already...thats for later i guess!! lets just say...don't let me drive. I ran into a snow bank. heheee!! "I 'll drive real slow here!" ta!