I gotta go my own way.

Life is nuts! I keep listening to my highschool musical 2 music. I like it! Especially "I gotta go my own way" It's kind of the song of my life now. Oh Malc. Well! Life is good. I went to two doctor's yesterday. They both Said I'm too stressed and my body is being affected by it. Yeah, everyone thinks I'm happy and carefree. Yeah, right. So, they tried giving me suggestions to calm me down. It's home. Why must I have anxiety problems? Me? I'm a happy and optimistic person. Aren't I? One doctor figured out what's wrong iwth me in a matter of minutes. My old doctor could never figure it out. He had no time for me. The last few appointments he barely talked to me. Sheesh...we pay him enough. So, I hope I can calm down. Except I have complete new things to stress out about. MArk. oh, Mark... Never thought an older guy would ever like me. I look like I'm about 15. I love it when everyone says that too...gag. But, When everyone looks their age in the future they won't make fun of me! Wham! I'll look 25 when I'm 40! *smiles smugly* See, I'm releaving stress already. haha. He said so many things I can't even write. I'velost my paper journal, but I refuse to let everything out here. Hahahaha... Anyhoo. Last night was good. We watched lady in water with Devon and his girlfriend. Mark was so excited to see it. He's like a little kid. He took me home and we ended up talking for an hour and a half on my porch. Sigh...HE said he cares about me. He asked me to save him a saturday night.Man oh man. IT feels good to talk to him. We'll see what happens. With him I break all my rules. I don't like that. But, I was glad he was sickened when I told him I got a tattoo. haha...ha. So! Malc and I are on better terms than ever really. I haven't talked to him in a while face to face, but he left me a message last night that was nice. That kid...I'm more than willing to wait for him, but he's got to have his own time first. I do too. This is my time to shine! Yes it is. I'm glad I have a good friend who helps me do that. Speaking of.. Bree is leaving me tomorrow. Man oh man! I can't stand all this constant change. WE grew really really close this summer. I saw her about everyday. Talked to her everyday. But, there's always those people that you know you're going to see. I'm not worried about it. I still see sara all the time. I miss her too... man oh man oh freaking man. Life... If we are to achieve results never before accomplished, we must expect to employ methods never before attempted. Francis Bacon
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