dang it! I missed talk like a pirate day! grrr!! arggg!! er, updating, yeah. not a bad day. Should I be more upset. I do have feelings. I guess I'm... mellow. or noncaring. I do have passions. why am I trying to defend myself. gah... I talked to peter and..oh wow. Out of all my friends he's the one who stayed with me and helped me learn my part. He's still the one who helps me out the most. Silly, I know. I guess we've always gotton along. great friends. He said he was angry just like everyone else but he knew it would be alright. It will be. I talked to Pederson. Told him he acts like he doesn't care about us and our success. Told him he was acting like he didn't believe in us. I missed Clark so badly today. I want to call him and say "come see me now!" wow, I've improved so much...I miss the way he's say "you got it!" and...the way he'd hold my hands... *bites lip* I'll see him soon. maybe I'm seeing this too lightly. Hey, I have a good feeling. I can trust my feelings. I'm not as foolhearted as I may seem... meh... I feel like I'm growing up and...I don't mind. "growing up" doesn't mean the fun is all gone. wow, I had loads of fun. till we meet again. oh yeah why does he have to seem interested now... 4 years I waited! 4 years! I'll write him on his mission. I'm making this up. Now this is all really in my head. MAlcolm called me and we talked about the line. His frustrations. wow. He said it was probably his fault. He said everytime he joins something someone leaves. Bedont, Clark... I like how I can really like him and we can be just friends. I like keeping it simple. Kiss Life. Keep It Simple STUPID I felt the muscles in his arm today. I think I died a little bit. wow... okay... anways, I feel alright. upset. I want to get my way. must get my way. must... I miss Clark. "ohhh child things are gonna get easier things will get brighter..."