mmm, I love my friends and all the support they give me. seriously, I've never gotton that many hugs before when I walked out of the office. Even peter willingly hugged me. should I explain? well...got beat out by a freshman, I never realized how much I wanted it. I'm glad mum explained to Clark that I am indeed a girl. I guess he understands now after talking to mum. I called him around 10:30 last night. he said he didn't agree with my pestimism-ness. I told him sorry for crying, he said no problem. then we talked for a bit. Yestorday after tryouts I got to see bedont. It was so good and nice. He is no longer my teacher, just my friend and I like that. he said "hey! there's that awesome timp part!" and he agreed with Clark, the pit is in need of a strong leader. I just ...I'll never march if I dont this year. whatever. I feel really bad for Jo and KJ. gah. and I think Erica is pretty upset too. I'm so glad this girls are with me. I seriously love the line already. we're so much like a family. We comfort eachother. I never knew I was liked so much. so...last night was good. I need to call Amy and tell her about our theme "no regrets" she loved Jeremy. I'm really glad yestorday was...indeed yestorday. I feel stupid and selfish. When he called me in I knew I was doomed. robin looked at me...and he said "Josh got the part" I looked down at my feet and said "I know." then he went on about me having pit withdrawls. he said he thought I'd be happy with his decision. I told him I wasnt mad at him...but at myself. he said I shouldnt be. um...yeah. the stupid thing is i stayed in the room. I don't know why i was crying so much...probably because I felt stupid... anyhoo. its the sabbath, and its going to be a better day. I came home today and realized I got roses from Jo.mmm! they're so pretty. I love my friends. my family...