I'm lost.

by emeraldclaire
Listening to: vienna all boys choir
Feeling: beat
It's almost as if I'm stuck in space. Never progressing or getting better. I just smile. Let the rest take the lead. I watch THEM stroll ahead. I THEM excell at everything. And for me, I'm just stuck. Because... If THEY say I'm doing well I'll stop. If THEY say he likes me I won't react. I'm just stuck! I get so intimidated. IT's like the only thing I can claim is being good at letting my friends take the lead. I'm too nice and way to passive. I hate 2 tri. I always have. always will. But, I'm really respecting Bedont right now. The only teacher who cares for my well being. well, my sem teachers did. If I just..... man oh man you always want what you can't have. I always want what I could of had. "And they teach us the impossible to life"
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Kiki-You were the one who taught me about being yourself, and not giving up on dreams! You were the one who taught me that it's okay to be stupid sometimes! Don't lose that! You're amazing and I love you so BELIEVE IT.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light that most frightens us. We ask ourselves: Who am I so be so brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are we not to be? Your playins small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feal insecure around you. We are born to make manifest the Glory of God ...
... that is withinin us. It's not just in some of us. It's in everyone. And as we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others." - Nelson Mandela

Liberate others, Kirsten, by liberating yourself!
feel better kirri, we all love u even those who dont show it do love u
Kirsten, always remember our conversation we had that night. You are so loved! We'll have a girl's night soon, babe, and then we can just...talk and get it all out.

I'd die without ya babe.

Love you so much!