And then you come around and It's alright again. It was a ruff night last night. I'm so overwhelmed. I wish I could lock everyone up in a closet and not let them out. sometimes I wish I could take away their agency. He's there for me though. wow a lot has happened. I wrote to Elder Elder yestorday. It felt good. I don't know, I feel good about him. I'm not nervous and I don't get scared. But, I kinda like the butterflies and the twitterpation. I'm not mature enough for anthony just yet. wow. I guess it's been on my mind because of all the weddings I've gone to. a lot of ones, but none were what I wanted. I hope I make it. I'll make it. Last night was really fun. malcolm kind of...held my hand. haha. well, I'll take what I can get, right? it was really fun. He's a fun kid. I'm pretty sure we all had a blast. and me and his mother are getting along greatly now. I'm not scared to talk to her. I came home...and it all just fell on me. wow, a lot of crap is going on. I stressed myself out so much I got sick. I woke up sick to my stomache. so I was late from drumline. I still haven't eaten. I feel sick again... mmm...