keep playing the same song. I want to play with Em so badly, but she...I dunno, doesnt want to play. I need someone to talk to very badly. I feel good, really good! but, everyone around me sad makes me feel guilty. mmmbark... but, life is good. It's fall! I love fall. I always get way happy when the leaves start turing different colors. Nothing to get me down. I hope Chris is okay. please be okay. DAvis cup is coming up. The pit prolly think they dont have to try so hard now that we got percussion. nonoNO! It makes me angry! they don't care! they never care. It makes me sad. and angry. and mad! we have a must-be-there sectional on friday. I know two people already not coming. they don't care... I sometimes wish my seciton was small. less people. less crowd. but I love the pit oh so much. just...stressful. I hate being section leader. sometimes. teeee... but, its good nonetheless. I want to win! I dont want to be stuck in just alright. I want to be better...EXCELLENT! but...they don't care. and I can't do it alone. half of them don't care. half of them can't play their parts. its so so sad. sooo sad. It makes me sad. I feel like a failure. Clark said he didnt blame me. but...still... its like asking Ali to do something for me. impossible. sigh...but I can't change anyone. so I jsut keep praying and hoping and trying to make it better. make it a good experience. I want it so bad. they don't care. It's like trying to have family prayer or cleaning the house. ...can't do it. so what do I do? Clean it up myself and keep on going...