this is copied off of my friend's internet diary- "the john and catiko duo r driving me nuts. i really care about her, and i am compleatly sober when saying this. but the way john treats her can drive me nuts sometimes. he will cheat on her, not even try to fix his mistake, and she still goes back to him and pretends nothing ever happened. i wish the pretending would stop. i my self am guilty of it, but it still pisses me off." :(. Do I really love him? Am I with him because I truly love him, or do I love the sense of security and belonging? Why am i pining after him? It's just that no one has every cared (or pretended to care) so much about me, and I'm addicted to that feeling. I feel like I'm starving for his love or attention. And why am I doing this? I shouldn't be the one going back to him. Am I just so desperate that I'm willing to look over all of his flaws, and brush off all of his mistakes that would have otherwise paralyzed me with hatred? I am so goddamned needy. What's happening? I've never felt so useless and attatched to anything in my whole life. It's unnatural.