Busted Lip. Shit, I'm so hardXxXxXCORE. [Not.] One of the worst weeks of my life. Just feeling awful. Too much going on, and I can't take all of it. There's just so much emotional weight on me right now. And I want to smoke a cigarette so. fucking. bad. But I only have 2, and I feel like I'm tip-toing the line of addiction because I always turn to these things when somethings goes wrong. I don't want to rely on them emotionally. I cried myself to bed a couple nights ago. I've never done that in my life. I just remember lying there curled up in bed and shaking so hard I was sweating and whimpering into my covers so I couldn't hear myself weak and crying. And I was writting in my diary today, which I don't do often but I'm picking it up again. And I wrote 5 fucking pages and cried through half of it. I don't understand. I'm taking anti-depressants before I go to school tomorrow. My friends keep asking each other behind my back if I'm okay. I also felt like I needed to cut for the first time in a really long while. I felt like I wouldn't be okay if I didn't. And that scared me.