ack. I am really becoming the stoner drop out. Couldn't sleep last night because of all the adderall, so I smoked pot in my room at like 3 in the morning or something. It was awesome, I was just sitting on my floor blowing smoke out the window and it was raining, and you could see the smoke so clearly. I don't know. It was calming, I guess. Been having the FUCKING most stressful week. I got my reports back and I have A's, B's and C's. So, fucking, scattered. I don't know, and I started cutting just for the sake of cutting again. It really bothers me. Because before when I cut myself it was usually just so it would scar, like a word or a design or something, or sometimes I would cut my ankle because I wanted to do something with the blood. But I cut twice yesterday, and I cut after school today, and for... just... just for the sake of cutting myself, I guess. I don't know. I have 14 long ones really close together on my forearm right around my elbow. God. I just dont' want to be me anymore.