school has really sucked for me lately. I'm only taking three classes now, and one of my classes is so fucking social. Everyone jabbers away the entire period, the cool "scene" kids at one table and the giddy frosh girls babbling away at another. And then there's me. I just feel so awkward and out of place all of the time, because everyone has their little group in that class and I'm too scared to approach anyone or initiate anything. It makes me so unconfortable that I don't have a friend in that class. So most of the time, when it gets like that I just sit at my isolated corner of the table and read, or pretend like I don't care. I'm so fucking sick of it. Is there something WRONG with me? Why is it so much harder for me to make friends? It's so god damn frustrating, and it's really embarassing and it makes me feel like shit. I think I might start swallowing those happy pills every morning again. Too bad it takes a capsule of chemicals just to fuck my brain cells back into alignment to make me decent enough to figure out to interact with other human beings. Pathetic. ***** I picked up this book at the library today called Cut by Patricia McCormmick. I thought it was going to be stupid and stereotypical, because for gods sake, they actually named the book "Cut". How lame is that? But I read it anyway, and it wasn't so bad, despite the tasteless predictable title. It brought back a lot of emotions I had forgotten about. I felt like crying while I was reading it. It just mixed up a lot of feelings inside of me and everything the character was going through, it all just hit me really hard, like I could relate to her, or I was her, or I had been her before or something. I don't know.