Feeling: impending doom I went to the mall today. Got 6 new guys shirts with fun sayings on them. Well, 5 with sayings, 1 with SpongeBob, because, hell, he's cute and the shirt looks good on me. Plus I needed an even number. Anyway, the shirts said: - I'm out of bed, what more do you want? - I have gone to find myself. If I get back before I return, keep me here. - (front) Wanna know how to keep an IDIOT busy?!?.. ..see back of shirt. (back) Wanna know how to keep an IDIOT busy?!?.. ..se front of shirt. - I have just kidnapped myself. Give me $1,000,000 or you'll never see me again. - No job, no money, no car... but I'm in a band (rock on symbol) That said, I have a helluva Sunday aheadame. Yes, I just said that. And that's what I mean... cousin's birthday party at my house; six weeks worth of homework for each of 3 classes, due Monday in time for quarterly grade report; current homework, including an English project that should take about 6 hours; find a monologue and a joke, memorize them, and get them all perfect for the one-act play tryouts; wash clothes because I have no pants; etc, etc, etc... Also, I have to find time for eating and sleeping. However I am considering stealing some of my grandma's pills, I just can't decide which: 1. The caffeine pills, so I can stay up all night to get a head start on my late work. 2. The prozac, so I can up my attitude to do all the homework. Third, and most deadly... The morphine. A full bottle of it, at my disposal. Fuck, I hate pills. I wish the gun in the closet worked. Then I could just get it over with. But, could I? Probably not. I'm a pussy either way, wimping out of this life under what is really not so much pressure; or else not being able to have the conviction to pull the trigger, or to take the pills, or to do whatever it takes to end myself... There are no right answers, only bad decisions. - end 11:50 pm