I cut myself with a razor tonight. It wasn't so very painful. I finally understand what my mom means by the addictive rush people get from it. I don't think I'll do it anymore. Because of peer pressure, no less. Morgan says she'll stop being my friend if I start cutting. Not that she's being much of a friend right now... We have a one-way relationship at the moment: I come when she calls. I know if I called her and had some major and sudden problem, she'd be there for me, but I can't see that happening anytime soon. At present, she's just keeping me from moving into a different group. All because I don't want to leave her alone. I can't abandon her. And I hate myself both for wanting to and for not doing it. Wow, that was a long paragraph. Also, there is apparently an unwanted reader who has been viewing this page. He goes by the name of Joey and I don't hate him. I love him, because he's my friend. Another one-way thing, I think...?? Anyway, I'm going to stop this diary. Post a signed comment with your email address if you want to read my new diary. It will pick up exactly where this leaves off, I promise. I'll send you a link to it, all you have to do is ask. So, to those of you who don't really care that much, a fond farewell. And to those that do care, thank you. Despite everything, I love all of you. ALL PS. Joey, I'm going to give you a bigass hug tomorrow. I mean, really give you a hug. Not get one. This isn't going to be begging for attention, it's going to be giving you all of my love. I wish you'd cry on my shoulder. But then, you're a guy, so apparently not. Honestly, can't you see that gender is completely irrelevant? You are of the third gender anyway (friend, in case you're wondering). Just thought I'd warn you, even though you're already in bed. Wait, damn, it's friday... Shit. Now I have to wait until Monday. Monday's Campus Day, and I only have ... 2 people to sign my yearbook. Oh joy. I'm rambling, again... Goodnight all, and goodbye ~ Beth